You Don’t Have To Be Good Looking To Get Chicks
I’m on this forum where a bunch of us local guys get together and talk about picking up chicks, and I found this one post by this guy named Daniel who’s really become quite the player. This is the post where things started to click for him, so I think it’s really important everyone reads this!!!!!
Reposted and distributed with permission…
Subject: FR: I’m Ugly – But I Still Got The Girl!
Posted: 01 May 2008 09:57 PM
Author: bnessrunsdeep
It’s been a while since I’ve posted about my progress … I’ve had some time to reflect on some choices I’ve made - recent and otherwise.
I look forward to hearing the response of you all, because I feel like I’ve made a major breakthrough, and I really want to hear what you have to say about it.
I don’t think it’s any secret I’ve been depressed for the past couple of months or so. I got into the whole “pick up chicks” thing after reading The Game and seeing that it is possible for guys to learn how to attract women. But no matter how hard I tried, I just could not get past certain things.
Here’s what was making me so depressed: I’m not an attractive man. At least, I don’t think I am. I’m not very tall, overweight, losing my hair, and I just turned 36. To me, when I look in the mirror, I cringe. I hate myself, and I hate the way I look.
I find it really hard to believe any woman out there could ever find me attractive. Even my past girlfriends – I thought there was something wrong with them because they liked me. No one could like a fat ugly slob like me, right?
I’d always read about how “looks don’t matter” from all the dating advice gurus out there, and for the life of me – I just couldn’t believe them. First of all, most of these guys aren’t ugly. At least, not as ugly as me. Many of them are tall, in shape, have a full head of hair, and a world of experience under their belts.
It’s easy for these guys to say looks don’t matter because they’ve never had to deal with feeling ugly. And more than that – how can looks not matter? Not even a little? If looks didn’t matter, I wouldn’t get rejected by the women I like. They’d give me a chance.
The way I saw things – if you didn’t have the looks a girl was in to, you might as well not even try. And that’s what lead to my depression. I seriously thought I was destined to be alone, because no woman in her right mind would ever be attracted to an old, fat, balding, ugly, short, loser like myself.
I feel like I’ve tried everything to get a girlfriend – a hot girlfriend, someone who really turns me on – and nothing has worked. At least, not the way it was supposed to. There’s so much marketing hype and B.S. out there. I feel like I’ve wasted over $1,000 on lame ebooks and courses written by people with no idea how to help me.
I’m not a rich guy either, so it’s painful to admit I’ve wasted so much money on things that haven’t worked.
So I felt helpless. And for a while, I felt like giving up all together (part of the reason you haven’t seen me posting lately).
But then, something happened that completely changed my outlook on things, and I’m so glad it did. I feel like God has answered my prayers, and I felt the need to share it with all of you.
I had settled into a routine of quiet desperation. I hardly ever left my house, and when I did, it wasn’t to do anything even remotely related to picking up women. Then, one day, I think I had what I would call a mini-nervous breakdown.
I just got tired of being alone. I got tired of feeling ugly and depressed. I tried calling up some friends to see if they wanted to go out, but for whatever reason no one was picking up. So I did what any guy would do in this situation…
I went to a strip club.
If I couldn’t earn the female attention I wanted, I’d buy it, damn it!!!!
So I went to this place called “The Diamond Club.” It’s a nice little bikini bar in the neighborhood. The girls there are pretty hot, and they serve alcohol. I went there, alone, and got a few dances. But for some reason, that only made me feel worse. I don’t know how to describe it except the emotional disconnect of the dancers made me feel even more ugly.
Then I left and went to a real bar. I wanted to get drunk. I thought maybe that would help make me feel better.
So I end up at this bar – I don’t remember the name. It’s sort of like an Irish Pub. I just remember it looked like a good place to get hammered. I walk in and start drowning my sorrows, sitting alone at the bar.
All around me, people are having fun, enjoying themselves, and there I am, depressed, and wallowing in self pity. In the corner, I spot a group of girls, and they’re all hanging out with this guy, laughing and having a good time.
But for the life of me, I just can’t stop looking at this dude. He’s not very good looking, he’s bald, overweight – in fact, I’d have to say I think I’m even better looking than him! But there he is, surrounded by hot girls, and they are really digging him.
The first thought that pops into my head is that he must be rich or something. Why else would all these hot girls be hanging out with him? Then, the guy gets up and comes over to the bar to order a drink. Turns out he’s standing right next to me. Maybe it was the fact that I’d drunk enough to have a bit of “liquid courage” so I turned to him and asked:
“Are you rich?”
He turns and looks at me funny, a kind-of half smile on his face. “No,” he said. “Why do you ask?”
“You just got a lot of girls with you. I thought maybe you were their sugar daddy.”
The guy laughed. “No, I just met those girls.”
“Really?” I was shocked! The way he was carrying on with those chicks, I could have sworn they all knew each other really well. “What’s your secret?”
The guy shrugged. “There’s no secret, really. You just have to know how to talk to them and have fun.”
“Well, no offence,” I said, “But none of that stuff matters if you’re ugly.”
“Is that what you think?” he asked.
“Yeah. It’s what I know. Girls only like attractive guys.”
“That’s true,” the guy said. “But there’s more than one way to be attractive. It’s not always about how you look, you know.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“You ever know a girl who you weren’t all that into at first, but after you got to know her a bit, you became attracted to her?”
I thought about it a bit, and that had happened to me a few times. I’d met a girl I wasn’t particularly into, and over time, I developed feelings for her. “Yeah,” I said. “That’s happened to me before.”
“Why do you think that is? If looks are the only thing that matter?”
I shrugged. “Well, they turned out not to be that bad looking, I guess.”
“Or maybe you found things about them you thought were physically attractive because you became emotionally attracted to them.”
After he said that, I realized this guy was right! In every instance, I began to find things about the girls that did turn me on, because I liked them so much.
“So girls are the same way?” I asked.
“Yeah, but girls are easier, for the most part,” he said. “They’re real emotional. So if you can make them feel good, the same thing will happen to them – even if they aren’t physically attracted to you right away, over time, they will be.”
“So how do you make them feel good?” I asked.
“Make them laugh, have fun with them, do fun stuff. Talk to them. Get to know them. You know.”
“Well, that counts me out,” I said. “I’m boring as a rock. I can’t make anyone laugh, let alone a girl. And I never know what to talk to them about.”
“You saying you don’t have any personality?” he laughed.
“Exactly. That’s right. I’m the most boring dude on the planet.” I replied.
“You don’t seem so bad to me,” he said. “I’ve met much more boring people.”
“So what do you do? How do you talk to these girls and have fun?”
“Well, I don’t know exactly how to explain it,” he replied. “But I just ask them questions about themselves, let them talk, and then tell a story of my own that’s related to what they were talking about.”
“How so?”
“Well, where are you from?” he asked.
“You mean originally? I moved here from Massachusetts.”
“Really? That’s cool. I’ve been to Massachusetts a few times. One time me and some friends decided to go to a concert in Boston, and we almost got into a fight with this bouncer because he wouldn’t let us into the club, even though we had tickets. Him and his bouncer buddies came out and kept threatening to break our arms.”
“You serious?” I asked.
The guy smiled. “See? You’re fascinated, aren’t you?”
I laughed. “Yeah, I guess I am.”
“But it’s a dumb story. Nothing really happens in it. But I throw in all these stupid little details and it becomes interesting, because you can relate to being in Massachusetts. You could do it too.”
“No I can’t. Nothing exciting ever happens to me.”
“You sure about that? What did you do tonight?”
“Nothing, really. I went to a strip club and then came here.”
“Oh yeah? Which Strip Club?”
“The Diamond Club.”
“You go there a lot?”
“Sometimes, when I feel like getting out of the house.”
“You ever get ripped off by one of the dancers?”
“No, not at that club. But one time I was visiting Miami, and me and some friends went to a club down there, and this girl talked me into going into a VIP room with her, but neglected to tell me I was required to buy a $500 bottle of champaign for going in the back.”
“No way!” the guy said. “Did you pay it?”
“Well, I got really angry and demanded to see the manager. He came up and began arguing with me about how the rules are clearly posted, and if I didn’t pay he was going to call the cops. Of course, that was bullshit, the last thing a strip club wants is for the cops to come by, so I told him to screw off and I got kicked out of the club.”
“Banned for life, huh?”
“I guess. I don’t care. I never go to Miami anyway.”
The guy laughed. “There you go. An interesting story.”
“Yeah, but no one threatened to beat me up or anything like yours.”
“Doesn’t matter. People always think their lives are boring and they want to hear about other people’s lives.”
“But I can’t tell a story like that to a girl!”
“Why not?”
“Because she’ll think I’m a creep for going to a strip club.”
“Maybe. Or maybe she’ll think you’re cool for getting kicked out of a strip club. You never know what a girl is going to find interesting, just like you never know what she’s going to find attractive, so you might as well just go for it.”
“But what if I weird her out with my stories?”
“Then apologize, and be honest. Let her know you were trying to be funny. Girls are usually pretty forgiving if they like you.”
“So you’re saying if I have a good personality, they’ll like me?”
“Pretty much. Why don’t you come back with me and give it a try?”
I looked back over to the girls he was with. Suddenly I got really nervous again.
“Oh, I don’t know. I wouldn’t want to mess up your game.”
“Don’t sweat it. I could use someone to help entertain some of the girls while I focus on the one I want. What do you say? Want to be my wingman and get some practice in?”
For some reason, I took the guy up on his offer. I was scared, but finally, I felt like I got some good guidance and was eager to try it out.
So he brought me over to the group and introduced me as his friend. I sat down next to him and started up a conversation with the two girls sitting next to me. I did pretty much everything I was told to do – asked a question, listened to the answer, then told a story of my own.
I don’t know if it was the liquor, the fact that I was “just practicing” or what, but I was really loose and started having a good time. I even made this one girl laugh a lot, and before long we were in a great conversation. She was really hot – blonde, nice tits, great smile, and shorter than me (always a plus!).
Turns out this girl (I’ll call her HBRedSox) is a big Red Sox fan, just like me, and we spent HOURS talking about baseball. I ended up getting her number by the time the bar closed. And before he left, I got the guy’s number too. He seemed like a cool guy and I definitely wanted to follow up with him again.
Anyway – the next day I called up HBRedSox and did the same exact thing – asked questions, told stories. Before long, the conversation just came out naturally – I didn’t even have to think about it. I’d never had such an easy time talking to a girl before.
I’m getting ready to go out on my first date with her now. We’re going to go to a favorite sports bar of mine and catch the Rex Sox play the Tigers, and get some food. Here is this hot, 25 year old girl, with fat, old, ugly, balding me! I still can’t believe it.
I learned something really important about women, and it’s that if you don’t have looks, you have to have personality. Without personality, you just have your looks to rely on, and if you’re ugly, that’s not a good thing!
I’ve been doing a lot to try and improve my personality since that night. I’ve been watching a lot of stand up comedy to see how they are so funny. I try and smile and be more outgoing, and most of all, I try and relate to everyone I talk to just like the guy at the bar taught me.
So far, it has been working GREAT!
Besides HBRedSox, I’ve met two other girls – one from online, and another from work – and have gotten interest from all of them!
Before, I used to think I was destined to die alone. Now, I feel like a new man. As I’ve been improving my personality, I’ve gotten more confidence. I’m now convinced that it IS possible for a girl to like me, and be attracted to me, despite my appearance, and I couldn’t be happier.
I just wanted to share this (rather long) post with all of you and get your feedback. Thoughts? Comments?
NOTE: I just think this is a great example of how average guys can get real success with women! Stop being down on yourself about how you look or how much money you make or whatever! Get confidence, improve your personality, and you can have the same type of success! Getting women isn’t rocket science for God’s sake!!!!
And if you STILL don’t believe looks don’t matter, you need to check out this website:
www.looks-dont-matter.com
It PROVES you don’t have to be good looking to get women! Definitely work checking out.
Later,
My Perfect Relationship
Order Pure Personality, Looks Don’t Matter Here
